Sunday, April 30, 2006

Dave's National Anthem

My friend Dave recently pointed out to me the hypocrisy of insisting the National Anthem be only sung in English: "English? Man... England's a whole different country! We should sing it in American!"

"And what would that sound like, exactly?"

"I don't know man, but it sure as hell wouldn't start out with 'Oh Say, Can you see...' Who the hell talks like that? Goddam Brits, that's who! Brits and fairies... Oh! Say!"

"I think..."

"Pip, Pip... Cheerio! Jolly Good!"


"And the name... 'Star-Spangled Banner' What the hell is that? It's the Goddam FLAG Goddammit!"

"So how would it go in American?"

"I don't know... how about 'Wow, check out the flag... it's still up there.'"

"Not very inspiring I'm afraid."

"Yeah? Well, at least it wasn't written by a guy named Francis."


"How about 'Wow, check out the flag, it's still up there... we rule!"

"Better... but it still doesn't really capture the spirit of the thing."

We hammered it out together for awhile and finally came up with this, a truly American National Anthem: (sung to the tune of whatever pops into your head)

Oh Wow, Check out the flag,
it's still up there from last night.
Even after all those rockets and shit...
Fuckin' A: That's Awesome.
What's on TV?


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

this is so funny, especially as i'm british ha ha ha!!