Thursday, December 29, 2005

Top 10 News Stories of 2006

Always one step ahead of the pack, Freewayblogger presents the top 10 News Stories of 2006:

10) Tom Delay Convicted of Record-setting 11,485 Felonies

9) Iraqi Army Successfully Trained: Invades Kuwait
New Country to be called "Irate"

8) Cheney's Image tarnished by Cannibalism, Necrophilia Disclosures

7) Democrats Sweep House, Senate Races
All are immediately impeached for wearing white after Labor Day

6) Polar Icecaps Break Apart, Disappear Entirely
Evidence of Global Warming Disputed

5) President Bush Murders Ten Children In Front of Reporters on White House Lawn
Impeachment rumors dismissed

4) Israelis, Saudis Sign Historic Friendship Agreement
"All just a big misunderstanding..." Both Sides Bashfully Admit

3) Saudi Terrorists Destroy Sears Tower, State Department, Wall Street
Vowing Justice, Bush Invades Venezuela

2) Rapture Occurs.
Christian Theologists in Turmoil as Hindus, Buddhists, and Homosexuals Ascend to Heaven

And here it is folks, the Number One News Story of 2006...

1) Natalie Holloway Still Missing!

Remember, you heard it here first.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Sacramento, CA

Sacramento is the confluence of four very large freeways: the 5, 50, 80 and 99, thus it's very easy to get to a whole lot of people with a minimal amount of driving.

I like putting small signs on large overpasses. Although they're perfectly readable, those who'd be inclined to take them down are far less likely to do so.

Fencing in front of bushes makes for a perfect posting blind. This sign required about five steps from the parking lot, but is entirely invisible.

Florida and San Diego

Arsenal of Democracy: The Overhead Projector

Like most of you, I'd seen signs hung over the freeways before. They were usually made from bedsheets or butcher paper and painted with messages that were sloppy if not unreadable. They were usually hung on the outside of the fencing, directly over the traffic, which is both hazardous and entirely unnecessary. By using an overhead projector and cardboard I found it easy to make signs that were entirely readable and stayed that way. Putting them on the inside of the fencing instead of the outside reduces the chance of their falling into traffic to precisely zero.

The awesome power of the overhead projector for signmaking cannot be overemphasized. It takes anything you can type on your computer - any font, size or style - and makes it huge. Simply print onto a transparency, place on the projector and shine onto your canvas, trace the letters and then paint. Works for logos and simple graphics too.

Ebay: Overhead Projectors

Monday, December 26, 2005

The Freewayblogger Manifesto, Illustrated

I put this up over the 580 in Oakland this afternoon. I doubt it'll last more than a few hours, but then again, you never know. Makes for a nice picture though.
If this looks familiar, it's because I put it up before Christmas. We've had at least two big rainstorms since then and it still looks brand new. Even though five or six hundred thousand people have driven under it, I doubt more than two or three hundred thousand of them bothered to read it.

This one's been up over five very busy lanes of traffic for over a week now. I probably should replace it, but I think it looks good.

Three days and counting for this one. You can't tell from the picture, but it's hard to miss if you're on the 101 heading north. Damn hard to get to too.

This one went up today. I've had mixed results with this spot, also on the 101. Sometimes they stay up for hours, sometimes days. I'd like to direct your attention to the white spot on the fence in front of the truck. That's a sign I put up three weeks ago reading "We're all wearing the blue dress now." You can see it better here:
Signs placed along the side of the freeway last a LOT longer than those placed on overpasses or in direct line-of-sight. This is a very busy stretch of freeway... stop and go during morning and evening rush hours, so a lot of people have seen it. Can't say how many of them got it, but hopefully the "Impeach." sign will clarify things for them.

I put this "Impeach." sign up today on the pedestrian walkway at the end of University Avenue in Berkeley. It's easily visible to five lanes of traffic heading west on I-80. If it lasts into the night it'll be illuminated nicely by a streetlight. I was going to put another one up for the eastbound traffic, but saw that the one I put up three days ago was still there.

This "The War is a Lie." sign's been up alongside one of the busiest onramps in San Francisco for a week now. The ramp's curved in such a way that it's pretty much impossible to miss. If everyone in this country who felt the war is a lie put up a sign that said "The War is a Lie." there'd be over a hundred million signs up.

I think by now you get the point. If you want to express your political opinion to a lot of people, this is the way to do it. All of these signs were placed on State property (which means "your property") and as free, non-commercial political speech, are protected under the First Amendment. They are, in fact, about as protected as speech gets in this country, and the fact that I've been able to do this as much as I have for as long as I have pretty much proves it. So long as they're posted safely, which means on the inside of the fencing, not the outside, the most a cop can ask you to do is to take it down, on the off chance they catch you. I've hung over 2500 signs now, and been caught in the act precisely six times. Each time I was polite as could be and did everything the officer asked me to, including taking down the sign, if that's what they wanted. So long as you comply with everything they say, and aren't drunk or in the least bit belligerent, you're untouchable, and they know it.

In other words, get rid of the notion that this is in any way a criminal act. It's your right as a citizen. It's not even just your right, it's your goddam duty as a citizen to speak out: as loud as you can to as many of your fellow citizens as you can. When the Founding Fathers of this nation gave us - all of us -the right to free political speech, they did it for a reason: So we could Speak-the-Fuck-Out if the party in power started running amok and the press became its lapdog.

Free Speech by the individual was intended by the framers of the Constitution to be the ultimate failsafe for democracy. It's all they gave us to protect our nation and it's all we really need... but it only works if we use it.

One last thing: Screw bedsheets. Bedsheets suck. Zipties too. Cardboard and bungees, with some duct tape on the corners: That's the way to go.

By the Golden Gate Bridge

This bit of fencing is just outside the Exploratorium, at the entrance to the Golden Gate bridge flyaway. It's a fifty foot walk, if that, from parking, and catches the eye of at least half the traffic between the Marina and the bridge: both directions. For some reason signs posted here tend to stay up a long, long time, as evidenced by the "2K Why?" sign. 169 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq since I put that one up.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

As Easy As It Gets...

Take four large box flaps, white, and tape them together... both sides. Use black duct tape for lettering. Keep it folded when carrying. Post.

This took less than thirty minutes, start to finish.

The People's Media

It's my firm conviction that if Kerry were President right now the Republicans and the media would be howling for his impeachment, probably over missing office supplies. "Paperclip-gate" would be all over the news. Anyone remember "Whitewater"? Okay, maybe lying us into a war where thousands are dying, draining the national treasury of every last drop, sanctioning torture, and illegally spying on our citizens doesn't quite measure up to an iffy real estate deal and diddling of an intern, but I believe people should at least be aware of the concept of impeaching this president. As it turns out, the framers of the constitution saw fit that I, or any other U.S. citizen, should be able to express this. Freely. Remember, if you feel your country or its democracy is in danger, speaking out is not only your right, it's your goddam duty as a citizen. That's why I can do what I do without fear of getting arrested for it. That's why you can too.

These signs went up yesterday in SF and the East Bay. I'll be doing more today.

Friday, December 23, 2005

The War Makes Baby Jesus Cry

This sign was brought to you and everyone driving through Charlotte, North Carolina by the good folks at One cardboard box, painted, with flaps attached and held down with weights... up for three days so far. Brilliant use of demographics too. If there's one thing that tugs at the heartstrings of red-staters more than Jesus, it's Baby Jesus.

Impeachment Drive cont.

These signs will start appearing in Sacramento and the SF Bay Area over the next couple of days. They required about 35 cents worth of materials and took about two and a half hours to paint. Depending on cleverness and luck, they'll be seen by close to a million people.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Posting Signs at Night

For those of you who might be a little shy, nightposting is a great way to get a message out discreetly. Watch for overpasses with illuminated signs and take note of those places where the surrounding fencing is also lit. Signs placed in those spots are easily readable and have a very spooky, otherworldly look to them. Bold, simple messages work best and the cardboard has to be white.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

White House Defends Use of Cannibalism, Pedophilia

Shocking Disclosures Stun Many

Washington - Already reeling from charges of massive corruption, widespread use of torture and illegal wiretapping, the White House angrily responded to yesterday's disclosure in the New York Times that top administration officials had participated in numerous acts of cannibalism and sex with minors.

"My most important job as President is to protect the American People." Bush stated emphatically during this morning's hastily convened press conference, "September 11th changed everything, and I think the people understand that."

While acknowledging that the rape and molestation of young children, as well as the consumption of human flesh might be disturbing to some, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales pointed out that such acts were technically within the law and had been approved by Congress in the broad powers given to the executive branch after the attacks on Sept. 11th, 2001.

Officials at the Times acknowledged that they'd known about the program for well over two years but had chosen to withold publishing its details until after the election because it "slipped our minds."

The super-secret program, dubbed "Operation Freedom Patriot Eagle Flag", was run primarily out of the office of the Vice-President.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005


If billboards were actually private property, they'd put them somewhere else.

Impeachment Drive

Some of the folks at Daily Kos are starting a guerrilla campaign to refamiliarize the American people with the term "impeach". Not a bad idea.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Arsenal of Democracy: Binder Clips

Binder clips are always good to have with you. These signs were affixed in seconds using large binder clips: medium-size clips are good for attaching to wire fencing and signbacks.