Sunday, June 17, 2018

Deep in the Heart of Nunes Territory

Visalia, CA — Things are different here in Nunes Country... Walking into a small cafe I was almost overcome by the smell of borscht, and everyone went quiet and stared at me. Thinking quickly I said “How’s the Golubtsy in this joint?” and started whistling one of Borodin’s Polevetsian Dances. Of course you and I know it as “Stranger in Paradise” from Kismet, but sometimes you’ve got to work with what you’ve got…

After a hearty repast of Beef Stroganoff and Solyanka soup, I smiled at the table of babushkas staring at me and so, casually mentioning the universality of Tolstoy’s fiction and the bravery of the defenders of Stalingrad, I paid my bill and left.

 When I saw this sign I thought, “Hmmm… seems like it’s missing something...” then realized “Of Course!” and pulled over outside a small potato cooperative and got to work.

For those of you who aren’t following, Devin Nunes is the obsequious beady-eyed fawning little toady and international bootlick who, when not tongue-polishing fascist footwear or selling out our country by derailing investigations into Russian meddling in our elections, is rumored to represent California’s 22nd Congressional District. The flag I’ve added is in protest of his extra-curricular activities and, since it’s easily removable without a trace does not, in my book, constitute vandalism. Campaign signs placed on public property are part of the public domain and should be considered free game for explanatory alteration so long as it’s not technically vandalism. If that’s too hardcore, then consider planting a Russian flag nearby with a clarifying arrow. Still too sketchy? Fine. Do this instead: I could use the help.

Anyway, I usually get some blowback about the consequences, illegality and possibly the amorality of mucking around with other people’s campaign signs. While I understand and appreciate both your concerns and the need to respect the rights of others, for the sake of perspective it helps to bear in mind the historical likelihood that at least some of these candidates wouldn’t hesitate to see you and your family herded into boxcars and gassed to death.
 Humming the main theme to Rimsky-Korsikov’s Scheherazade, I checked into a small hotel on the steppes of Fresno, earning the confidence of the innkeeper by referencing Anton Chekov’s The Cherry Orchard while negotiating my AAA discount. One of my great loves is classical piano, and along with cardboard, projector and paint for sign-making, I always travel with my keyboard, and most of the night was spent with my host and fellow guests pounding Stolichnaya and Rachmaninoff Preludes until the last of my newfound comrades had retired. (No mean feat in the notoriously hard-drinking demographic of District 22.) A bit giddy I’ll admit, an idea for a sign popped into my head that seemed, at least at the time, irresistibly hilarious. Thanks to my trusty digital projector and years behind a paintbrush, my drunken inspiration was made manifest in literally less than fifteen minutes.
Normally I never post at night, but I was set on breaking a record. I used some tissues to smear away the excess paint, leaned the panels against the heater to expedite the drying time and soon crept off into the night. Since the motel was right next to an overpass I now have a new personal best for signage: from inception to posting within 35 minutes.
 Although a bit shadowy and crooked looking, I figured it’d look better in the morning light. It did.
Signs Posted - 7,398
Arrests - 0

Friday, June 08, 2018


 Signs placed on freeways around California.

Signs Posted - 7,393
Arrests - 0

Tuesday, June 05, 2018

There's No Evidence of Trump Colluding with Russia, Except the...

Flynn Thing
Manafort Thing
Tillerson Thing
Sessions Thing
Kushner Thing
Wray Thing
Morgan, Lewis, & Bockius "Russian Law Firm of the Year" Thing
Carter Page Thing
Roger Stone Thing
Felix Sater Thing
Boris Epshteyn Thing
Rosneft Thing
Gazprom Thing (see above)
Sergey Gorkov banker Thing
Azerbaijan Thing
"I Love Putin" Thing
Lavrov Thing
Sergey Kislyak Thing
Oval Office Thing
Gingrich Kislyak Phone Calls Thing
Russian Business Interest Thing
Emoluments Clause Thing
Alex Schnaider Thing
Hack of the DNC Thing
Guccifer 2.0 Thing
Mike Pence "I don't know anything" Thing
Russians Mysteriously Dying Thing
Trump's public request to Russia to hack Hillary's email Thing
Trump house sale for $100 million at the bottom of the housing bust to the Russian fertilizer king Thing
Russian fertilizer king's plane showing up in Concord, NC during Trump rally campaign Thing
Nunes sudden flight to the White House in the night Thing
Nunes personal investments in the Russian winery Thing
Cyprus bank Thing
Trump not Releasing his Tax Returns Thing
the Republican Party's rejection of an amendment to require Trump to show his taxes thing
Election Hacking Thing
GOP platform change to the Ukraine Thing
Steele Dossier Thing
Sally Yates Can't Testify Thing
Intelligence Community's Investigative Reports Thing
Trump reassurance that the Russian connection is all "fake news" Thing
Chaffetz not willing to start an Investigation Thing
Chaffetz suddenly deciding to go back to private life in the middle of an investigation Thing
Appointment of Pam Bondi who was bribed by Trump in the Trump University scandal appointed to head the investigation Thing The White House going into cover-up mode, refusing to turn over the documents related to the hiring and firing of Flynn Thing
Chaffetz and White House blaming the poor vetting of Flynn on Obama Thing
Poland and British intelligence gave information regarding the hacking back in 2015 to Paul Ryan and he didn't do anything Thing
Agent MI6 following the money thing
Trump team KNEW about Flynn's involvement but hired him anyway Thing
Let's Fire Comey Thing
Election night Russian trademark gifts Things
Russian diplomatic compound electronic equipment destruction Thing
let's give back the diplomatic compounds back to the Russians Thing
Let's Back Away From Cuba Thing
Donny Jr met with Russians Thing
Donny Jr emails details "Russian Government's support for Trump" Thing
Trump's secret second meeting with his boss Putin Thing