Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Gingrich the Newt

(Signs placed along freeways in LA and Orange counties)
We'd like to set the record straight by singing of the newt
For newts are open-minded; they are flexible and cute
A newt can breathe in water and a newt can breathe on land
And if you are a different critter newts will understand.
Newts are not mean-spirited; they never are unfair.
Newts are not underhanded and are not afraid to share.
Newts do not have bad haircuts because newts are lacking hair.
But the newt called Gingrich drives all true newts to despair.
Gingrich the Newt's a disgrace to the name:
When true newts see him they feel so ashamed.
He's the black sheep of the newt family:
The one rotten fruit on the newt family tree.
Newts don't prey on other newts; in that they don't believe.
And you will never catch a newt with something up his sleeve.
They're tolerant to different environments and so
They don't send little newties to the orphanage to grow.
What kind of newt wears a suit and a tie?
And frightens small children as he rushes by?
But we admit that his suit suits him good...
Much more discreet than a sheet and a hood.
A newt may be cold-blooded but he won't go to extremes.
And you can trust a newt to be exactly what he seems.
Newts are sorry if you're sad; they're happy if you're gay!
But Gingrich is perverse, and worse,
He's proud to be that way.
Gingrich the Newt is puffed up like a toad.
So full of himself that he's bound to explode.
And then we will raise up our tails in salute...
A fitting tribute
To that horse's patoot:
Gingrich the Newt.

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