Sunday, April 30, 2006

Dave's National Anthem

My friend Dave recently pointed out to me the hypocrisy of insisting the National Anthem be only sung in English: "English? Man... England's a whole different country! We should sing it in American!"

"And what would that sound like, exactly?"

"I don't know man, but it sure as hell wouldn't start out with 'Oh Say, Can you see...' Who the hell talks like that? Goddam Brits, that's who! Brits and fairies... Oh! Say!"

"I think..."

"Pip, Pip... Cheerio! Jolly Good!"


"And the name... 'Star-Spangled Banner' What the hell is that? It's the Goddam FLAG Goddammit!"

"So how would it go in American?"

"I don't know... how about 'Wow, check out the flag... it's still up there.'"

"Not very inspiring I'm afraid."

"Yeah? Well, at least it wasn't written by a guy named Francis."


"How about 'Wow, check out the flag, it's still up there... we rule!"

"Better... but it still doesn't really capture the spirit of the thing."

We hammered it out together for awhile and finally came up with this, a truly American National Anthem: (sung to the tune of whatever pops into your head)

Oh Wow, Check out the flag,
it's still up there from last night.
Even after all those rockets and shit...
Fuckin' A: That's Awesome.
What's on TV?

Friday, April 28, 2006

GOP: God's Own Pedophiles

No Child Left Behind:

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.

Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Yesterday's Postings

Yesterday we had some nice weather so I drove around the Bay sticking up signs.

US Foreign Policy: Faith-Based Initiative

"I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true. One, I believe there's an Almighty. And secondly, I believe one of the great gifts of the almighty is the desire in everybody's soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free."
-George W. Bush 5/24/06

Now he tells us. Forget Al-Qaeda, WMDs, Saddam Hussein... the primary reason we're in Iraq is purely theological: George W. Bush, religious scholar, believes that the Almighty wants everyone to be free... regardless of what they look like or where they live. Guess that means we'll be opening all our jails soon... and the rulers of Saudi Arabia, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, the United Arab Emirates, Pakistan, Kuwait, Egypt, Syria, Myanmar and China had better watch their asses, because presumably they're next.

Or at least they would be if our soldiers, having been declared Free, hadn't all gone home.

Monday, April 24, 2006

The Anti-American Century

"The 21st Century's anti-American backlash now extends well beyond the anti-western worldview of radical Islamic jihadistas, well beyond the violent fundamentalist fringe. Anti-Americanism is going global, stretching from within America's own bordes, across continents, classes, ideologies, religions and generations... (it) has morphed from a nagging, marginal ideology into a new international state of mind..."

I heard this author speaking on Talk of the Nation while blogging in SF and thought to myself, "We need more people like her." It's about time someone brought up the fact that creating 5.5 billion enemies may not be in the best interests of our country.

Good book too. I highly suggest it for people who think world opinion matters. More here:

Sunday, April 23, 2006


The first time I tried to quit smoking I used nicotine patches. My doctor told me that if I wore the patches while sleeping I might have some very vivid dreams. He was right. He said the dreams were the brain’s way of processing the extra stimulus it was getting from the nicotine, something it’s not used to during sleep. “The dreams can get pretty intense…” he said. “And some people prefer just not to wear them. It’s not for everybody.” This is part of a dream I had the first night I wore the patch. It was as vivid and real as any dream I’ve had before or since.

It began with a group of soldiers in a barracks at night. Five or six were holding one who was struggling to get free while another, presumably the leader, screamed “Get him! Hold Him! Don’t let him get away!” Apart from that there was no determination of rank: everyone was dressed only in T-Shirts and BVDs. The walls were white with nothing on them and everything was lit by bright overhead fluorescents.

Although the soldier screaming seemed deadly earnest, there was a hint of playfulness in his voice: It was obvious that the soldier being held wasn’t going to get away. “Put him there… on the bunk. That’s it… that’s it.” The other soldiers pulled him down onto a bunk where he struggled a bit more and then went limp, either out of hopelessness or possibly to regain strength for one last effort to break free.

From there my point of view changed from outside observer to one of the soldiers holding him down. There was nothing in the mindset of the dream to indicate what the soldier’s crime had been, if the person shouting actually outranked us, or any kind of backstory at all. We were nothing more than extras in an action sequence.

The lead soldier picked up a rifle with a steel bayonet attached, “Yeah, hold him there. Just like that… just like that…” and placed the tip of the bayonet just above the soldier’s breastbone, right at the base of his throat. The soldier on the bed started hyperventilating, staring back at his attacker with fierce, almost impossibly blue eyes.

The leader gave a yell and thrust the bayonet straight through the captive’s throat: eighteen inches of steel disappearing instantly through the flesh and into the mattress below. The rest of us were in shock. None of us had intended for things to go this far.

The soldier with the bayonet pulled it out and then thrust it back into the man’s throat, then his chest, again and again, screaming like an animal while the rest of us remained frozen, still holding the victim down while he struggled. Things had gone suddenly and horribly wrong. Not only did we all know it, we knew that the rest of us knew it too. Just as we knew that none of us was going to to do a thing to try and stop it.

We were accomplices now. To murder. And even though none of us had wanted it, we knew in an instant that the first person to speak out would be the next to go.

Hell of a dream.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

SF/Central California Scenic

Finally a break in the rain and a chance to do some blogging. These were placed between Marin and Santa Cruz on the 1, 101, 280 and 93. The really pretty pictures were just photo ops, not actual postings.

To the extent we can organize into groups across the country, great. Whatever gets people active... Whatever gets paint on cardboard and cardboard in front of eyeballs is fine by me. Just remember though, that at the very heart of the matter, freewayblogging is nothing more complicated than driving around with a bunch of signs, looking for cool places to put them.

When I got to Santa Cruz some friends and I fired up the overhead projector and painted more signs for the trip south.