Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Manson Slated as Envoy


Washington – In a move guaranteed to spark controversy both inside and outside the Beltway, the White House announced the appointment of Charles Manson as Special Envoy to the Middle East. “Given the extremely sensitive nature of the situation in the Middle East at this time, the President felt it crucial to fill this post with someone who shared his vision of the future…” Scott McLellan announced in this morning’s press briefing. “And after careful consideration, he decided that Mr. Manson was that man.”

If confirmed by the Senate, which is expected to vote along party lines, the appointment of Charles Manson to the position of Special Envoy will mark one of the biggest reversals of political fortune in recent memory. In a highly publicized trial, Manson was convicted along with several others to life in prison for a series of random murders in the Los Angeles area during the 1960’s. Despite this, his unique views on race, religion and foreign policy concerns have helped him retain a small but devoted following. Including, apparently, the President of the United States.

“Charlie had it right all along…” the President was quoted during a photo op while clearing brush on his Texas ranch, “What it all boils down to is the good people versus the bad people. Honest, hard-working Americans versus the Evil-Doers. You know: Helter Skelter… and it’s comin’ down fast.”

While skeptics are claiming that the Manson appointment represents little more than a political move to intimidate Iran, others are not so sure. “There’s a synergy there – no doubt about it…” declared one political analyst, “The whole Right/Wrong, Good/Evil, Us/Them, Helter-Skelter thing is something that really resonates with the American public these days. Frankly, if Charles Manson is guilty of anything, it’s for being ahead of his time.”

5 comments:

blurbee said...

Oh, man.

You are hilarious.

That's a beaut.

It's sooo true. So fricken' true.

...

25% say all polls are pure bullshit.

PollThis.org

Anonymous said...

The Cunning Realist - a conservative Wall Streeter who's angry at the neocons postest this:

Sacrifice Update

By The Cunning Realist

Today, the Pentagon reported that five more troops were killed in Iraq. That makes thirty-three killed in the last ten days, and 2,368 total.

Today I saw the current number of KIA's posted in the window of an apartment here in New York. What are you doing to remind others?

Anonymous said...

Mysteriously, that PollThis.org link above misdirects to

an error page at http://www.blogger.com

Oh well.

I'll try again logged in as anonymous.

...

25% say all polls are pure bullshit.

PollThis.org

-----

Well, the preview worked fine. Both the links in this comment point to PollThis.org

Susan said...

Good job!

Sometimes I feel so damn helpless to do anything to stop this madness. But photoshopping, ranting, crying... whatever works.

Keep up the good fight.

Freewayblogger said...

thanks susan. the photoshopping falls under the catagory of rainy-day-things-to-do. When the sun's out, I paint signs and stick them on the freeways. You should too. The first thing to disappear is the feeling of helplessness.