“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of - it doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re going to live’ or ‘It’s a boy.’”" (all quotes by) Demetri Martin
"I like parties, but I don’t like piƱatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals."
“Some jokes are short and elegant, like a mathematical proof or a midget in a ballgown.”
“The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
FB - 240
USA - 66









