Dave's National Anthem

My friend Dave recently pointed out to me the hypocrisy of insisting the National Anthem be only sung in English: "English? Man... England's a whole different country! We should sing it in American!"

"And what would that sound like, exactly?"

"I don't know man, but it sure as hell wouldn't start out with 'Oh Say, Can you see...' Who the hell talks like that? Goddam Brits, that's who! Brits and fairies... Oh! Say!"

"I think..."

"Pip, Pip... Cheerio! Jolly Good!"

"uh..."

"And the name... 'Star-Spangled Banner' What the hell is that? It's the Goddam FLAG Goddammit!"

"So how would it go in American?"

"I don't know... how about 'Wow, check out the flag... it's still up there.'"

"Not very inspiring I'm afraid."

"Yeah? Well, at least it wasn't written by a guy named Francis."

"True."

"How about 'Wow, check out the flag, it's still up there... we rule!"

"Better... but it still doesn't really capture the spirit of the thing."

We hammered it out together for awhile and finally came up with this, a truly American National Anthem: (sung to the tune of whatever pops into your head)

Oh Wow, Check out the flag,
it's still up there from last night.
Even after all those rockets and shit...
Fuckin' A: That's Awesome.
What's on TV?

GOP: God's Own Pedophiles

No Child Left Behind:

Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd was arrested on suspicion of soliciting sex with an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable.

Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation.

Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy.

Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls.Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester.

Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls.

Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls.

Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison.

Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17.

Republican Committeeman John R. Curtain was charged with molesting a teenage boy and unlawful sexual contact with a minor.

Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida.Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered.

Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor.

Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl.

Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile.

Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl.

Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was charged with molesting his 9-year old step-daughter after including her in an anti-Gore television commercial.

Republican activist Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

Republican Congressman Donald “Buz” Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail.

Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos.

Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children.

Republican activist Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child.

Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page.

Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter.

Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline was placed under house arrest for child molestation and possession of child pornography.

Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar.

Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped.

Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. “Republican Marty”), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD.

Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography.

Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media.

Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced to jail after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him.

Republican talk show host Jon Matthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl.

Republican anti-gay activist Earl “Butch” Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her.

Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison.

Republican election board official Kevin Coan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl.

Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy.

Republican politician Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children).

Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl.

Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child.Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl.Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters.

Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl.

Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy.

Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison.

Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000.

Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession.

Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet.

Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a “good military man” and “church goer,” was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison.

Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter.

Republican director of the “Young Republican Federation” Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison.

Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer.

Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women.

Yesterday's Postings

Yesterday we had some nice weather so I drove around the Bay sticking up signs.

US Foreign Policy: Faith-Based Initiative

"I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true. One, I believe there's an Almighty. And secondly, I believe one of the great gifts of the almighty is the desire in everybody's soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free."
-George W. Bush 5/24/06
http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002385210

Now he tells us. Forget Al-Qaeda, WMDs, Saddam Hussein... the primary reason we're in Iraq is purely theological: George W. Bush, religious scholar, believes that the Almighty wants everyone to be free... regardless of what they look like or where they live. Guess that means we'll be opening all our jails soon... and the rulers of Saudi Arabia, Iran, North Korea, Cuba, the United Arab Emirates, Pakistan, Kuwait, Egypt, Syria, Myanmar and China had better watch their asses, because presumably they're next.

Or at least they would be if our soldiers, having been declared Free, hadn't all gone home.

Central/Southern California

More From Our Readers

The Anti-American Century

"The 21st Century's anti-American backlash now extends well beyond the anti-western worldview of radical Islamic jihadistas, well beyond the violent fundamentalist fringe. Anti-Americanism is going global, stretching from within America's own bordes, across continents, classes, ideologies, religions and generations... (it) has morphed from a nagging, marginal ideology into a new international state of mind..."



I heard this author speaking on Talk of the Nation while blogging in SF and thought to myself, "We need more people like her." It's about time someone brought up the fact that creating 5.5 billion enemies may not be in the best interests of our country.

Good book too. I highly suggest it for people who think world opinion matters. More here:

http://www.cfr.org/publication/10016/

Nightmare

The first time I tried to quit smoking I used nicotine patches. My doctor told me that if I wore the patches while sleeping I might have some very vivid dreams. He was right. He said the dreams were the brain’s way of processing the extra stimulus it was getting from the nicotine, something it’s not used to during sleep. “The dreams can get pretty intense…” he said. “And some people prefer just not to wear them. It’s not for everybody.” This is part of a dream I had the first night I wore the patch. It was as vivid and real as any dream I’ve had before or since.

It began with a group of soldiers in a barracks at night. Five or six were holding one who was struggling to get free while another, presumably the leader, screamed “Get him! Hold Him! Don’t let him get away!” Apart from that there was no determination of rank: everyone was dressed only in T-Shirts and BVDs. The walls were white with nothing on them and everything was lit by bright overhead fluorescents.

Although the soldier screaming seemed deadly earnest, there was a hint of playfulness in his voice: It was obvious that the soldier being held wasn’t going to get away. “Put him there… on the bunk. That’s it… that’s it.” The other soldiers pulled him down onto a bunk where he struggled a bit more and then went limp, either out of hopelessness or possibly to regain strength for one last effort to break free.

From there my point of view changed from outside observer to one of the soldiers holding him down. There was nothing in the mindset of the dream to indicate what the soldier’s crime had been, if the person shouting actually outranked us, or any kind of backstory at all. We were nothing more than extras in an action sequence.

The lead soldier picked up a rifle with a steel bayonet attached, “Yeah, hold him there. Just like that… just like that…” and placed the tip of the bayonet just above the soldier’s breastbone, right at the base of his throat. The soldier on the bed started hyperventilating, staring back at his attacker with fierce, almost impossibly blue eyes.

The leader gave a yell and thrust the bayonet straight through the captive’s throat: eighteen inches of steel disappearing instantly through the flesh and into the mattress below. The rest of us were in shock. None of us had intended for things to go this far.

The soldier with the bayonet pulled it out and then thrust it back into the man’s throat, then his chest, again and again, screaming like an animal while the rest of us remained frozen, still holding the victim down while he struggled. Things had gone suddenly and horribly wrong. Not only did we all know it, we knew that the rest of us knew it too. Just as we knew that none of us was going to to do a thing to try and stop it.

We were accomplices now. To murder. And even though none of us had wanted it, we knew in an instant that the first person to speak out would be the next to go.

Hell of a dream.

SF/Central California Scenic

Finally a break in the rain and a chance to do some blogging. These were placed between Marin and Santa Cruz on the 1, 101, 280 and 93. The really pretty pictures were just photo ops, not actual postings.

To the extent we can organize into groups across the country, great. Whatever gets people active... Whatever gets paint on cardboard and cardboard in front of eyeballs is fine by me. Just remember though, that at the very heart of the matter, freewayblogging is nothing more complicated than driving around with a bunch of signs, looking for cool places to put them.






When I got to Santa Cruz some friends and I fired up the overhead projector and painted more signs for the trip south.

Long Island/Queens

Thanks Neil

"Back in the days of shock and awe

We came to liberate them all

History was the cruel judge of overconfidence

Back in the days of shock and awe.

Thousands of children scarred for life

Millions of tears for a soldier's wife

Both sides are losing now..."

Listen Now: http://www.hyfntrak.com/neilyoung2/AFF23358/

Blog: http://livingwithwar.blogspot.com/

More Portraits by Cheryl Graham

TX, CT, OH, NM, UK, MA, CA, TN

Rumsfailed

Rumsfail (rums´ fāl), v., 1) To self-destruct, melt-down or implode under the weight of one's own arrogance. 2) To fail spectacularly, particularly in matters of warfare or diplomacy; to plunge into chaos. 3) Absolute, unmitigated disaster of national or international proportions and consequence; policy failure so utterly abject and miserable as to approach the realm of the epic.

"Power is the best aphrodisiac." - Henry Kissinger

"Just look at the carpet-bombing of Cambodia to

see what it took for him to get it up..." -Lily Tomlin

One of the most horrific things I've ever heard in my life was a piece on NPR about Donald Rumsfeld visiting Iraq. One of the soldiers interviewed described Rumsfeld being shown a film montage of the war effort, and then played a clip of it for the reporter. There was no narration, just a soundtrack, the "Carmina Burana" by Carl Orff, (more generally known as the theme to "The Omen"), which let you know right away what he was watching: he was watching shit getting blown up.

If you don't know the piece of music I'm talking about, go listen to it. Listen to it with your eyes closed and picture Donald Rumsfeld sitting in a dark room somewhere in the Green Zone, perhaps with a couple of soldiers and handlers, watching a film about Iraq with that for a soundtrack. Keep that image in mind because, if it's true, it's all you need to know about Donald Rumsfeld. In fact, old men in dark rooms watching snuff films to the "Carmina Burana" could very well be all you need to know about the war.

Keep 'em coming folks...

Best to speak up now, before
the bastards nuke Iran.

Manson Slated as Envoy

Washington – In a move guaranteed to spark controversy both inside and outside the Beltway, the White House announced the appointment of Charles Manson as Special Envoy to the Middle East. “Given the extremely sensitive nature of the situation in the Middle East at this time, the President felt it crucial to fill this post with someone who shared his vision of the future…” Scott McLellan announced in this morning’s press briefing. “And after careful consideration, he decided that Mr. Manson was that man.”

If confirmed by the Senate, which is expected to vote along party lines, the appointment of Charles Manson to the position of Special Envoy will mark one of the biggest reversals of political fortune in recent memory. In a highly publicized trial, Manson was convicted along with several others to life in prison for a series of random murders in the Los Angeles area during the 1960’s. Despite this, his unique views on race, religion and foreign policy concerns have helped him retain a small but devoted following. Including, apparently, the President of the United States.

“Charlie had it right all along…” the President was quoted during a photo op while clearing brush on his Texas ranch, “What it all boils down to is the good people versus the bad people. Honest, hard-working Americans versus the Evil-Doers. You know: Helter Skelter… and it’s comin’ down fast.”

While skeptics are claiming that the Manson appointment represents little more than a political move to intimidate Iran, others are not so sure. “There’s a synergy there – no doubt about it…” declared one political analyst, “The whole Right/Wrong, Good/Evil, Us/Them, Helter-Skelter thing is something that really resonates with the American public these days. Frankly, if Charles Manson is guilty of anything, it’s for being ahead of his time.”

"Yes, but will Nuking Iran really make us safer?"

http://www.newyorker.com/fact/content/articles/060417fa_fact

"One former defense official, who still deals with sensitive issues for the Bush Administration, told me that the military planning was premised on a belief that “a sustained bombing campaign in Iran will humiliate the religious leadership and lead the public to rise up and overthrow the government.”

And Here's Phase Two of Our Leader's Glorious Plan:

San Francisco Yesterday

Record rainfall here in San Francisco, so I haven't been freewayblogging as much as I should. I put these up yesterday just to keep in practice. Lately I've been taking care of a dear auntie who's been going through chemotherapy and will pretty much confined to the Bay Area for at least a few more weeks. Hopefully though I'll be able to move around a bit after that and start visiting you all in the north and south west.

Now that some of you are getting introduced to each other, we should start seeing more signs like these in more places. Remember: paint on cardboard, cardboard on freeway.
That's all there is to it.

Harry Taylor: American

Q You never stop talking about freedom, and I appreciate that. But while I listen to you talk about freedom, I see you assert your right to tap my telephone, to arrest me and hold me without charges, to try to preclude me from breathing clean air and drinking clean water and eating safe food. If I were a woman, you'd like to restrict my opportunity to make a choice and decision about whether I can abort a pregnancy on my own behalf. You are --

THE PRESIDENT: I'm not your favorite guy. Go ahead. (Laughter and applause.) Go on, what's your question?

Q Okay, I don't have a question. What I wanted to say to you is that I -- in my lifetime, I have never felt more ashamed of, nor more frightened by my leadership in Washington, including the presidency, by the Senate, and --

AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Booo!

THE PRESIDENT: No, wait a sec -- let him speak.

Q And I would hope -- I feel like despite your rhetoric, that compassion and common sense have been left far behind during your administration, and I would hope from time to time that you have the humility and the grace to be ashamed of yourself inside yourself. And I also want to say I really appreciate the courtesy of allowing me to speak what I'm saying to you right now. That is part of what this country is about.

Full Transcript/Video Here:
http://thinkprogress.org/2006/04/06/bush-event-goes-off-script/

Thank You Harry Taylor:

http://www.thankyouharrytaylor.org

From Sea to Shining Sea...

The Cities Project:
Listed below are the cities where two or more of you have
written me expressing a desire to start posting signs.
For the past two weeks I've been e-mailing you each
other's addresses, either directly or through regional
coordinators, with the hope you'll start getting together
and Doing It. Please send pictures if you do.

Remember though that the beauty of signposting is that it doesn't really require any organization and can be easily managed, in just a few minutes, by one person.

Just paint a sign and put it up where people can see it.

Fayetteville
Mesa
Tempe
Scottsdale
Phoenix
Douglas
Tucson
Glendale
Berkeley
Burbank
Costa Mesa
Fresno
Hollywood
Huntington Beach
Irvine
Long Beach
Los Angeles
Marina Del Rey
Marin
Oakland
Richmond
Oxnard
Pasadena
Paso Robles
Petaluma
Rancho Cucamonga
Sacramento
San Bernadino
San Diego
El Cajon
Oceanside
Encinitas
San Francisco
San Jose
San Luis Obispo
Santa Barbara
Santa Cruz
Santa Maria
Santa Rosa
Studio City
Ukiah
Ventura
Walnut Creek
Aurora
Boulder
Colorado Springs
Denver
Hartford
Meredin
Mystic
Washington DC
Wilmington
Clearwater
Daytona
Fort Myers
Fort Lauderdale
Gainesville
Jacksonville
Orlando
Miami
Palm Harbor
Sarasota
St. Petersburg
Tampa
Atlanta
Athens
Boise
Pocatello
Naperville
Chicago
Evanston
Springfield
Bloomington
Indianapolis
Mishawaka
South Bend
Iowa City
Des Moines
Spirit Lake
Edmunton
Lexington
Louisville
Kansas City
Concord
Norwood
Boston
Cape Cod
Duxbury
Baltimore
Rockville
Silver Spring
Bethesda
Portland
Ann Arbor
Flint
Grand Rapids
Detroit
Lansing
Saginaw
Traverse City
Minneapolis
Red Wing
St. Paul
Joplin
St. Charles
St. Louis
Missoula
Asheville
Charlotte
Chapel Hill
Durham
Raleigh
Dover
Portsmouth
Manchester
Hoboken
New Providence
Princeton
West Orange
Newark
Albuquerque
Santa Fe
Las Vegas
Reno
Albany
Binghamton
Buffalo
Long Island
Ithaca
Brooklyn
New York City
Akron
Cincinnati
Cleveland
Columbus
Oklahoma City
Tulsa
Eugene
Portland
Chester City
Erie
Pittsburg
Philadelphia
Reading
Wilkes-Barre
Providence
Charleston
Memphis
Nashville
Knoxville
Austin
Dallas
Fort Worth
Pflugerville
Houston
San Antonio
Provo
Salt Lake City
Arlington
Charlottesville
Falls Church
Fairfax
Norfolk
Richmond
Roanoke
Burlington
Bellingham
Richland
Seattle
Spokane
Tacoma
Vancouver
Fond du Lac
Madison
Milwaukee
Morgantown

New South Dakota State Motto Contest!

http://southdakotamottocontest.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

South Dakota passes legislation outlawing almost

all abortions, even in cases of rape and incest: News Item.

Eugene, El Cajon, Tacoma

Eugene, OR

Aw Gee... I Thought This War Would Be Fun

I put this sign up about three years ago, in the first weeks of the war. It was inspired by hearing one of the talking heads on cable say "Of course, now that troops are in harm's way, you can't be sarcastic." Really? I thought to myself, I hadn't heard that one before... once troops are in harm's way an entire branch of rhetoric is off limits to the public? What utter bullshit.

So I painted this sign and hung it on a retaining wall next to I- 5 in Mission Viejo, right in the heart of Orange County.

The story during that particular news cycle was this woman: Shoshana Johnson. The videotape of her interrogation by the Iraqi Army was being played relentlessly on cable news: a young black woman, scared out of her wits, trying to answer questions like “Why did you come here?” “Why did you come to kill Iraqis?”

She was practically beside herself with fear, her eyes darting and moving around constantly, waiting for the shot or whatever it was that might kill her at any moment, while the news anchors clucked and gasped at the human drama and spectacle.

Of course, as Americans we knew damn well what people staring death in the face looked like, and it was nothing like this. If we’d learned anything from years of watching television, it was that people faced death with incredible stoicism - jaws set firmly with a steely gaze in the eyes and perhaps one slight swallow or lump in the throat to betray any sort of fear. So what was this? What in the hell was this this twitching, stuttering, pop-eyed freak show doing on our TV sets?

For possibly the first time our TVs were showing us what it looked like when someone was genuinely in fear for their lives, and we didn't like it. Not one bit. And something in the tsking, headshaking and hollow, practiced gravity of the newsanchors voices describing this one scared woman made something inside me snap. Suddenly the whole stupid fucking infotainment media spectacle that constituted the lead up to the war was lain bare: All the charts and graphs and speculation from experts and pundits, the dramatic music and big graphic arrows spreading over maps... all of it exposed for the bullshit that it was in the eyes of this one frightened woman. And then they had the gall to tell me I couldn't be sarcastic? Fuck You.

The sign took about half an hour to make and about ten seconds to hang once I figured out how to get there. While not exactly easy, getting to the wall from the backside required little more than a few minutes of driving around, a quick scamper down a hillside and trudging through some brush.

I don't know how long I expected the sign to stay up - a couple of hours maybe - but when I drove by three days later and saw it was still there, I couldn't believe my eyes. Three days. Three days perfectly visible to five lanes of heavy traffic, over 150,000 cars per day, and nobody, but nobody had taken the ten or fifteen minutes it would've required to go take it down.

I'd hung plenty of signs before that one, and seen a lot of them stay up for days, but seeing that one - a great big 8 by 10 foot "Fuck You" up for three days in the darkest heart of Republican Orange County - became a defining moment for me. Those of you who've hung signs and seen them stay up know what I'm talking about: it's incredible. The only explanation for it is that everyone driving by thinks someone else will take them down, and nobody does.

Unfortunately though, the same "Not my job..." mindset that keeps signs up may well be what dooms this art to being little more than a novelty act. If you see a sign you don't like, it's your job to take it down. If, on the other hand, you don't see any signs at all, it's your job to put them there. The next guy ain't gonna do it for you.